Katie Marie Robinson-Sherlock

Over the next month, you might notice a slight change in the style of my blog posts. I’m calling it an experiment. This is, of course, a very professional and intentional framing. It sounds controlled, almost academic and that is very much on purpose. But in reality, it is what we might more honestly describe as a survival strategy.

Earlier this year, in February, my mum passed away after a very short and sudden illness. In response, I made what I can now recognise as a truly spectacular decision I decided not to stop. I mean it, I decided somehow that it would be best to take no time off work, no pause on the PhD, and no space to process anything in a way that might be considered healthy or even vaguely sensible. Instead, my brain (clearly an unreliable narrator) decided that if I simply kept going I wouldn’t have to sit still with the grief or focus only on the mountain of admin that comes with managing even a very small estate.

This was, in hindsight, not a strong plan.

Nevertheless, I committed to it fully. Alongside my day job, PhD work, a conference, a writing retreat, and my first academic article going out to peer review, I also managed funeral arrangements and the estate. Life, appreciating the momentum, added a few supporting details:

• a broken boiler,
• a car developing new and inconvenient personality traits,
• a cat requiring surgery,
• two further bereavements,
• and a family member entering palliative care.

Nothing excessive, just a light sprinkling of additional context. Technically, my plan did work, I didn’t wallow. Instead, I progressed efficiently to the edge of burnout and remained there with admirable consistency.

So now, in what I am choosing to frame as a wise and proactive decision (rather than a slightly overdue intervention), I’m easing off the gas. At the time I’m writing this (late March, though you’re reading this in early June because I am extremely organised) I have just finished the last of the estate work and for the first time in a while, April appears to contain no major activities. This feels suspicious, but I am willing to engage with it. As a result, I am taking the next few weeks to recover a small but meaningful portion of my sanity. Which brings us back to the “experiment.”

For the next few weeks, my blogs will still appear three times a week, they will however be shorter and more restrained. Slightly less like I am attempting to justify my existence to an invisible academic tribunal.

Thank you, as always, for reading, and for continuing to be here while I relearn that rest is, apparently, a requirement rather than an optional extra.